for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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