don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
