Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
