worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
