Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
