Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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