You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
