windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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