John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
