not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
