Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
