She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
