Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
