I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
