If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
