Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
