Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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