I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
