Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize