Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It's rum buckets o'clock
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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