if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
