I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
