You can't special order awesome
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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