i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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