their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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