the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
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