Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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