"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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