My friends, they love my intelligence
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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