3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
