i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
