i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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