I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
