Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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