stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
