i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
