While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
