i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
