he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
