omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize