i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
