Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize