so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
