btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
