I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
