how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
How external is "for external use only"?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
