Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
