I'm really into asian looking animals
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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