i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
