she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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