I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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