he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
