I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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