Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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