and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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