I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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