you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
