Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.

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  (843): Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca. http://tfl.nu/m05t
  Replies (21) Good night (881) Bad night (2838)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Did you fuck her?

  (212): View more from New York

  If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.

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  (703): Did you fuck her? (212): If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that. http://tfl.nu/y42g
  Replies (3) Good night (1112) Bad night (3196)
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  (805): View more from California

  So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair

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  (805): So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair http://tfl.nu/hci6
  Replies (9) Good night (2026) Bad night (677)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?

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  (316): Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter? http://tfl.nu/61dy
  Replies (34) Good night (4146) Bad night (993)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.

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  (304): There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year. http://tfl.nu/n54w
  Replies (23) Good night (4789) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.

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  (843): Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean. http://tfl.nu/s35t
  Replies (9) Good night (4779) Bad night (1196)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.

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  (570): I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever. http://tfl.nu/cjv6
  Replies (11) Good night (3292) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.

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  (919): The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out. http://tfl.nu/a3dj
  Replies (13) Good night (1099) Bad night (3145)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.

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  (205): I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030. http://tfl.nu/rrwq
  Replies (6) Good night (2645) Bad night (956)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances

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  (306): But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances http://tfl.nu/e227
  Replies (4) Good night (2292) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..

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  (734): Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night.. http://tfl.nu/1tnp
  Replies (6) Good night (2908) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.

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  (812): Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords. http://tfl.nu/1djr
  Replies (4) Good night (2032) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet

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  (650): I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet http://tfl.nu/2n36
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?

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  (423): Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail? http://tfl.nu/94aa
  Replies (6) Good night (824) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine

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  (615): Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine http://tfl.nu/rjex
  Replies (2) Good night (373) Bad night (636)

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