I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
