dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
