I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
