The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize