I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
