Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Randomize
