First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
How does one acquire holy water?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
