Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
