it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
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Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
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Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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